THE READING LIST: ABOUT TIME

“Don’t read what everyone else is reading, check them out later, cautiously” Ben Okri

When I left my permanent secure job at the public broadcaster six years ago, I was yearning to read. I wanted to take a break from the rat-race-routine, from deadlines and breaking stories and “lose” myself in prose, in other worlds, other dreams and other pasts.

I had a shelf full of unread books.

I wanted a way to buy time or more accurately I needed money to buy time so I could do the important work. To delve deeper into the depths of my soul uninterrupted, to find out who I was without distractions. Staying was not an option, I had already tried to die three times. Realizing that I would most probably never have the ideal reading holiday. I used all the spare time I had between jobs, homes and countries to catch up on my reading. I found that books have been my anchor, my ground zero. And like most of my clothing, they found me. Sometimes they foretold my future and sometimes they explained my past, most times they mentored me, held my hand and said come on you, you’re alright, you’re not as horrid as you think but you can always be better.

This year I have been immersed in pasts, many, many pasts.

Past loves, past lives, past careers, past moments, dreams, desires and aspirations. Some pasts I wanted so desperately to erase, to pretend they never existed or happened. Particularly in relation to my own behaviour and actions or lack thereof. But then I realize that if I were able to change the past I would change this present moment too, today would be very different and I have no idea if I would like this present if it were something other than what it is. I have no idea what would happen if a specific incident had not taken place, if say, I made different choices, if I would be the same person today. Because even bad events and experiences regardless of who caused them bring with them unexpected treasures, opportunities for growth, wisdom, understanding, humility and if nothing else empathy for other people’s pain and respect for other people’s struggles and triumphs. As part of my long tribute to the past.I would like to salute and acknowledge all the writers and authors who have taken me into spaces I never imagined I could go, who made me feel, made me cry, laugh. Writers who pushed me and guided me along my journey with their stories. In my physical lived life, I was often concerned with a lack of professional mentors, people who took an active interest in my growth and whatever potential I had.

The one I chose didn’t choose me.

But now I realize that I’ve had some of the best mentors I could have ever asked for in the form of books. But if anyone dared mention this to me I would not have believed them. So below is a list of my primary coaches, teachers and mentors who have help me through some of the more difficult transitions of my life – who’ve taken me places and shown me things I could not have imagined. Mentors who helped me to dig deeper and deeper into the meaning of my own life through the telling of their own life stories. They've help me understand subjects I was grappling with, events that were confusing and processes that were tedious or frustrating. This has meant at times that I occupied different spaces and places simultaneously. Each day waking up in one or two, sometimes three different countries, villages or towns, as a man, a woman or child. These are by far not the only books I’ve read. But these have been the most significant so far. These authors have been my influencers, my mentors, my teachers, my coaches, my companions, my friends. They’ve helped me take the next step, encouraged me to be brave and reminded me that I was not alone. I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you for making my life so interesting. You’re all so a.m.a.z.i.n.g! I’m also happy to announce that I do not fear missing out, which means I’m almost up to date! The list is not in chronological order nor in order of importance. Each book was important for a specific time and place. The most important one shall remain unnamed.

THE JOKE BY MILAN KUNDERA. I read Milan Kundera’s first novel the Joke after I read the Unbearable Likeness of Being. I was reluctant to read this one because I feared being disappointed. I’m glad I read it. What a masterpiece and I won’t spoil it for you.

• THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING BY MILAN KUNDERA. This is a highly intimate book. It opened the door to the psychology of “romantic-love/sexual” relationships. I loved it.

• MY NAME IS RED BY ORHAN PAMUK I couldn’t put this one down. Oh my God! His mastery of prose and detailed account of history going back into centuries of art-practice. Turkish-ottoman culture, greed, love, jealousy, fear and betrayal, this book was quite literally an orgasmic read. I am yet to read a book that is comparable to this or a book which has taken me to such astounding heights of ecstacy. It is in a class of its own. Pure mathematical genius.

• GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN BY JAMES BALDWIN A delicate self-portrait. I love Baldwin as a preacher –child. I could identify with his zealous need to fit in and escape and praise the lord all at the same time. This was a story very close to home for me.

• CIRCLE OF FRIENDS BY MAEVE BINCHY. I have always wondered what it would be like to have ‘friends” outside my own family. This was a great experience. I was Benny in every way. I love the Irish ways too. They have a way with the English language which makes it oh, so romantic.

• A TRUE STORY BASED ON LIES. BY JENNIFER CLEMENT Mexico has a special place in my heart. This allowed me to visit its most intimate place, the family. The structure is magnificently poetic.

• THE FIRE NEXT TIME BY JAMES BALDWIN I will never forget the man who introduced me to James Baldwin. Thank you.

• A GIFT OF A THOUSAND WORDS BY AKONA METU This woman I met after my return from Senegal, with these lines of poetry she wrote her heart on mine. I read the state of my heart between her lines. She stabilized me.

• RACE MATTERS BY CORNEL WEST: After reading this book, I found myself in a panel discussion with the author and others at the constitutional court of South Africa, let’s just say it’s a night I will never forget.

• THE MADONA OF EXCELSIOR BY ZAKES MDA. Ah! Such colour, such richness. Painting is one my first loves, so reading the history of South Africa told through oil, acrylic, brush and canvass well only a painter understands what that smells like.

• THE DEVILS PICNIC BY TARAS GRESCOE: This book had the ironic effect of making me fall in love with food. Ironic because I would not choose to eat what he ate on his whirlwind trip to dine in contraband around the world. But I became a foodie regardless.

• EAT PRAY LOVE BY ELIZABETH GILBERT GRAPE: She gave me the courage to pursue travelling on my own terms. Although food was a huge part of this book, I didn’t have much of an appetite on my own travels. Perhaps I would never have dared if I did not read her book. Thank you.

• ZAMI: THE NEW SPELLING OF MY NAME BY AUDRE LORDE. This woman changed my life. She made me realize who I was not. So important. In addition she gave me an unforgettable tour of New York City, which made me fall in love with it, again and again. There's no city in the world I've walked as much as I walked New York. Not even Johanneburg, Not even Barcelona. Not even Dakar I will never forget her. She is simply spectacular. She taught me that “your silence will not protect you”.

• THE RIVER BETWEEN – NGUGI WA THIONG'O. I have often felt torn apart by the past, present and future. As if I was called to finish what I never started. Ngugi told a story I know too well. The river between is an excellent reminder of our times.

• LAYING GHOSTS TO REST BY MAMPHELA RAMPHELE. I have a huge soft spot for Mamphela Ramphele. For a long time I have wondered where the voice of women in South African politics was. She was the answer to that question. Fierce, wise, articulate, numerate, open and as honest as a Politian can be. This book gave me hope for the state of our nation just as it was going through a seismic transition in the crash of 2008.

• BEFORE I FORGET BY ANDRE BRINK. Ag, what can I say, nostalgia can be so delightful when you’re in good company, sipping wine in front of a fireplace, secure in each other’s love.

• COUNTRY OF MY SKULL BY ANTJIE KROG. Oh Antjie. After reading this book, I knew what I wanted to do with my life. And doing this became my plan. I thought it would be as easy as she described, but oh boy was I in for a surprise!

• THINGS FALL APART BY CHINUA ACHEBE. After reading Chinua Achebe’s seminal work, I knew without a shadow of doubt that if I were to write one day, it would have to be, indeed, in a language that is most accessible to as many people as humanly possible. The story is a classic of course.

• BEGGING TO BE BLACK BY ANTJIE KROG. Oh my God. She made me so angry, I was so pissed off with Antjie, I started writing right there and then. Haha. Thank you!

• GIOVANNI’S ROOM BY JAMES BALDWIN. Eish. This one is sad. I didn’t really like it very much. But I was glad I read and finished it anyway.

• AMERICANAH BY CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE This was like being on holiday. I had fun reading this one, it was like Bliss. Very few book have left me feeling happier than when I started. Great achievement.

• HALF OF A YELLOW SUN BY CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE. Oh actually I thought if she can do it, so can I. Brialliant Historical Novel.

• THE CHALLENGE FOR AFRICA BY WANGARI MAATHAI. This is truly a gift. She articulates the Challenge for Africa from an African women’s perspective with succinct eloquence. She’s brave and uncompromising. Essential reading.

• NERVOUS CONDITIONS BY TSITSI DANGAREMBGA. This book in many ways forms the blueprint of my life. Bringing this book to life in a feature film would be so amazing. It is such a poignant book. So important and utterly necessary. I was happy to have had an opportunity to study my own condition from another perspective.

• THE QUIET VIOLENCE OF DREAMS BY SELLO DUIKER. This was a highly disturbing book. There was no room to breathe here. I thought I was going mad, What? Worlds like this exist in my very own country? Oh my God. Yes it took me to the very edge of my seat.

• ASTONIGHING THE GODS BY BEN OKRI. Ah! “The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered till you experience it properly and fully the first time”

• THE FAMISHED ROAD BY BEN OKRI. I must admit I was very afraid of reading this book. I didn’t want to go into worlds I would not return from. Highly imaginative. Creative excellence. A breath of fresh air.

• GOD’S BITS OF WOOD BY OUSMANE SEMBENE. This book is, according to me, the Gold Standard of narrative (journalism) storytelling anywhere in the world by far. Based on actual events, if I can write stories half as good as this, I will have succeeded. This is pure and undiluted genius. Lucid and so detailed I could touch her wrinkles on the first page. I don’t often recommend many things. But This I do. I will. I have already done!

• SHADOW OF THE WIND BY CARLOS RUIZ ZAFON. Amazing story within a story within a story. My speciality. Made Spain such a fascinating place to be in.

• THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO COELHO I think I’ve read every COELHO book since the Alchemist. This one I’ve read more than once.

• WOMEN WHO RUN WITH WOLVES BY CLARISSA PINKOLA ESTES. What is it to be a woman? A fascinating glimpse into the spiritual mysteries of the feminine.

• CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD SERIES BY NEALE DONALD WALSCH. This was fun. These were cool conversations. I love talking to God. I mean who wouldn’t?

• THE SECOND SEX BY SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR. Challenging. Challenging. Must read.

• BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT BY PAULO COELHO. This book moved me. Second to the Alchemist. It’s about faith in Love. The most redeeming force in the universe. I stand by it.

• I KNOW WHY A CAGED BIRD SINGS BY MAYA ANGELOU. Maya Angelou taught me so much. I listened to her not only because we share a birth day, but also because she reminded me of my mother. She helped me understand her better.A storyteller par excellence. A multitalented, multifaceted woman who is also an epic enigma. I love her.

• I WRITE WHAT I LIKE BY STEVEN BANTU BIKO. Me too Steven. I write what I like too. Thank you so much! I liked what you wrote. Very much.

• THABO MBEKI AND THE BATTLE FOR THE SOUL OF THE ANC BY WILLIAM MERVIN GUMEDE. William Gumede is a wonderful studious teacher. Immaculate in detail and definitely not short on in-depth analysis and nuance. He had time. It’s a must read if one is to begin to understand the socio-political and economic story of post-apartheid South Africa.

• WINNER TAKE ALL: CHINA’S RACE FOR RESOURCES AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR THE WORLD. BY DAMBISA MOYO. This lady is a master of economics. She does not hide behind superfluous words or jargon. She has an amazing ability to unravel complex economic concepts so you are empowered and more informed than you were before you read her. Amazing. A mark of a great teacher. Erudite.

• THE SHACK BY WILLIAM P YOUNG. This book brought me some perspective. Not for the faint hearted, if you must read it, wait a while.

• THE ARTIST'S WAY BY JULIA CAMERON. This book was instrumental in my house cleaning process. It helped me to take a leading role in my own personal development. I was able to identifying who I was from who I thought I should be, who I wished to be or hoped to be. It forced me to revisit old hobbies, dreams. interests and ideas. Including old hurts, pains and disappointments. Once I fully committed to the process, I got to know myself again and it’s been such a wonderful journey discovering different, exciting parts of me. I’ve had the most fun doing the artist way. Great adventures, activities that I did in real life, all chosen and planned by me. It was the most important thing I did for myself. This book gave me back my dignity, my freedom. I met the love of my life doing the artist way and for this I am forever grateful. It is a beautiful gift that keeps on giving.

• THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS BY ARUNDHATI ROY. I was enchanted. Charmed. She used words like musical, perfumed notes, jewels and flowers.

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